Valentines Day Hearts, faith in the face of adversity & the Association of Interchurch Families...

Melanie Carroll • February 14, 2023

Valentines Day Hearts, faith in the face of adversity & the Association of Interchurch Families...

February 14th, St Valentines Day, a time to celebrate love and romance and so it seems fitting to think about how important a day it really is for the Association of Interchurch Families and its members... Because after all interchurch families are the embodiment of ecumenical love and romance, starting as they do with the coming together of two people from different denominational traditions meeting and falling in love and wanting to get married...

And so St Valentines day really does seem so fitting...
Not least because the stories of St Valentine - as muddled as they may be - tend to have a theme of marrying people for whom the rules were initially against them, and opening the eyes of the blind... Something that maybe feels a little familiar and apt to an association that in its time has seen its members feeling like they are dealing with and doing very similar things within their denominations and the wider Christian Church.

A popular account of St Valentine in the 13th century appears in the Nuremberg Chronicle and states that he was a Roman priest martyred during the reign of Claudius Gothicus after being caught marrying Christian couples and otherwise aiding Christians who were at the time being persecuted in Rome.
A different story from the 3rd century said he was a priest who defied the order of the emperor Claudius and secretly performed Christian weddings for couples when getting married was forbidden for those in, or entering, the army. It's here the account says that "to remind these men of their vows and God’s love, Saint Valentine is said to have cut hearts from parchment", possibly where the hearts we all recognise as a part of Valentines day come from.
A third story of Saint Valentine names him the former Bishop of Terni, who while under house arrest with Judge Asterius, discussed his faith with him and has the judge putting him to the test; if Valentine succeeds in restoring the girl's sight, then his faith was deep and true and right... Praying to God, Valentine laid his hands on the Judges blind adopted daughter and restored her sight! The judge humbled by this faith converted and received the Christian sacrament of baptism, and in turn freed all the Christian inmates under his authority.
They really are quite wonderful stories aren't they...

And for those within the Association of Interchurch Families there can seem to be strong analogies to be drawn between the act of a saint who is willing to step up and marry people who some say shouldn't be or have had hindrances put in their way, and those that are sometimes faced across denominational divisions that have nothing to do with love or really even faith, but rather due to rules and traditions...
And also so to the opening of the eyes of the blind in authority so that Christians can be freed of what can feel like the imprisonment of rules and decisions based not on love but legalism... So that here instead, when these things are faced with faith, open discussion, and demonstration of real relational ecumenism, love and faith can truly bloom, be sanctified, and flourish in a way that increases the community of Christ and the fellowship of faith...

We are pleased to say that in the years the Association of Interchurch Families has been around the barriers have been changing, the eyes opening, and the hearts freed in faith so that the love felt by people from differing Christian traditions doesn't need a martyr to see it happen, but rather both parties truly can stand side by side and go forward into a life of love and faith together as equals...

That said there's still work to do, though the hearts may flourish sometimes the struggle remains a little when moving into the next stage of Interchurch Family life with a new family and baptismal traditions. But then that's why we are still here to this day putting out our paper hearts and working so that we can help demonstrate to the church, the true face of Christian ecumenism that is family, as we work together to seeing love - romantic and everyday - flourish and bloom, to see the family sacraments not be places of sacrifice and martyrdom, but instead be places of deep love, open hearts and familial welcome for all.

If you are in an Interchurch family, or just starting your journey to an Interchurch relationship, and would like to know more about the Association of Interchurch Families then please do make contact... And if you do encounter an issue in that journey then don't hesitate to contact us with your questions or queries and we will do all we can to help you. After all, that is one of the things we are here for - not quite a Saint Valentine that can help with your marriage or the full healing, but certainly an organisation that can share our faith and knowledge that may help.

Melanie Carroll
Executive Officer
Association of Interchurch Families

www.facebook.com/Interchurchfamilies

www.interchurchfamilies.org.uk

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Happy New Year! January —The Courage to Begin Again

By Melanie Carroll • January 1, 2026

JANUARY — The Courage to Begin Again January is a month often framed by fresh starts, renewed hopes, and the desire to step into the year with intention. For many interchurch families, however, the idea of “beginning again” is not simply about turning the page on a calendar; it is a rhythm woven into their very way of life. Interchurch families live at the intersection of traditions, expectations, and identities. As a result, the courage to begin again is not seasonal — it is habitual. Yet January gives us an opportunity to name that courage, honour it, and recognise the spiritual depth it carries. Beginning again may be as practical as shifting Sunday worship patterns because a child’s schedule has changed, or as emotional as revisiting conversations about belonging that have long been sources of tension. It may involve addressing unresolved experiences from last year — a moment when a priest or minister misunderstood your family dynamic, or when extended family expressed opinions about your choices to raise your children in both traditions. For some, beginning again may be choosing to return to church life after a season of being stretched thin or feeling spiritually exhausted. The idea of “courage” can sound dramatic, but for interchurch families it is often quiet, steady, and almost unnoticed. It is the courage of showing up in a church that is yours but not fully yours. It is the courage of continuing to pray for unity when you feel the strain of disunity most sharply. It is the courage of teaching children that they are not divided but doubly enriched, even when the world struggles to understand that reality. January invites us to reflect on the difference between courage as a moment and courage as a practice. A single moment of bravery can be powerful, but interchurch life asks for something more: a patient, ongoing willingness to step forward, again and again, even when the way is uncertain. Beginning again in this context is not naïve optimism; it is a spiritual discipline rooted in hope. For many interchurch families, hope is what sustains the courage to begin again. Hope that the churches we love will continue to grow closer. Hope that our children will be able to live out their faith identities freely and fully. Hope that our own callings — lay or ordained, formal or informal — will be recognised and supported in both of our traditions. January reminds us that these hopes need tending, and tending requires courage. Scripturally, we often turn to passages that speak of new beginnings — “Behold, I am doing a new thing” or “His mercies are new every morning.” But for interchurch families, it may be equally valuable to reflect on the stories where God’s people must take small, faithful steps into uncertain territory. Abraham setting out “not knowing where he was going.” Peter stepping onto the water with trembling confidence. The disciples returning again to the upper room to pray and wait when they did not know what God would do next. These moments resonate deeply with interchurch experience. Beginning again is not about control; it is about trust. It is about trusting God with your family’s decisions, your children’s spirituality, and your own dual belonging. It is about trusting that unity is not only a prayer but a promise — one that will unfold over time, even if we do not yet see the full picture. January also encourages us to reflect on the internal dimension of beginning again. Many interchurch families carry memories of past experiences — some beautiful, some painful. The courage to begin again includes the courage to forgive, to heal, to remain open. Unity in the home requires unity of heart, and unity of heart requires the bravery to keep loving generously across difference. Perhaps you find yourself this January feeling hopeful, or perhaps tired. Perhaps you are longing for clarity about church commitments, or simply grateful for the stability your family has found. Whatever this year begins with for you, hear this blessing: Your courage is seen. Your hope is holy. Your faithfulness is part of the very story of Christian unity that the whole Church longs for. As we enter 2026, may you find the gentle strength to begin again — not because January demands it, but because God is already ahead of you on the path, welcoming you into the year with grace. Melanie Carroll - Executive Officer

A Christmas & New Year Prayer

By Melanie Carroll • January 1, 2026

Eternal God, at Christmas we give you thanks for the gift of your Son, born among us to bring light into the world and to draw all people into your reconciling love. As the Association of Interchurch Families, we come before you as those who live daily across Christian traditions, seeking to hold together faith, family, and unity in Christ. We give thanks for the churches and friends who walk alongside us, support us, and share in this calling. At this turning of the year, we pray that the light of Christ, first seen in the manger, may continue to shape our shared life. Grant to your Church and all people a generosity of spirit, patience in difference, and a deepened commitment to the unity we share through birth and baptism. As one year ends and another begins, renew our common resolve to listen well, to learn from lived experience, and to bear faithful witness together to the truth that unity in Christ does not require uniformity, but is grounded in Love. May the joy and hope of Christmas remain with us in the year ahead, strengthening our partnerships, guiding our discernment, and drawing us ever more deeply into your peace. Through Jesus Christ our Lord, the Word made flesh, the light of the world, now and for ever. Amen.